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Call of the Green Monster

July 1st, 2005


08:40 pm - I've Moved
I couldn't wait. I've just had enough of LiveJournal. I've made the leap to blogger. So, please, boys and girls, come visit me in my new pad.


Witch City Sox Girl has left the building.

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08:11 pm - An Aged Lita Ford at the Game?
Not to be mean, but who the hell is that weird looking woman behind home plate with the black sequins tank top? She keeps standing up and screaming. Terrible 80's bleached hair, too much eye make-up. She's right off to the left of the plate and very, very expressive. The guy behind her just gave her the business by shaking his head and motioning "up, down, up, down," with his hand. She looks like she's going to belt him good.

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02:08 pm - From the Sensational New York Post ...
An error, then some hits?

Did Yankee teammates Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez have a locker-room brawl last week?

The two sluggers mixed it up on June 20, after an errant throw from shortstop Jeter to third baseman A-Rod handed the Yankees a 5-4 loss to the last-place Tampa Bay Devil Rays, according to a TV producer loitering in the clubhouse.

"[I] saw them go at it," the source tells Radaronline.com. "A-Rod walked past Jeter's locker and mumbled something about his throw, then Jeter told him to go [bleep] himself and all hell broke lose. Their teammates were pulling them away from each other.

Says a ball club insider, "Now you have guys like Bernie Williams, who remember winning the World Series, taking Jeter's side, and then you have the [recent] trades, like Tony Womack, taking A-Rod's side."

Two Yankee players told The News they had no knowledge of a fight. And team spokesman Rick Cerone labeled the report an "absolute fantasy," and denied any quarreling among the players.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Could just be a rumor, but in my mind, I am turning it into fact.

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June 30th, 2005


04:49 pm - Baseball Reprieve Continued
What? Finish my work tasks for the day? Okay, but first ...

Here were my top 5 favorite things about the show "Sesame Street":

1. Grover as the Waiter. I loved every single skit involving the blue face muppet with the mustache and the huffing, puffing Grover who always screwed up the order:



2. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-122222222222: It was a pinball machine cartoon that helped us learn to count. Very psychedelic. (I am now thinking that this could have been a feature on The Electric Company, another great show.)

3. The man who fell down the stairs carrying all the pies. I don't think he enjoyed it as much as me.

4. The man who had numbers painted on the top of his bald head. In mustard or ketchup or poster paint.

5. The theme song. Oh, how I loved to sing along to that. Hearing it meant there was a whole new episode in front of you. (The saddest part of the show was when Kermit or Oscar or Snuffy would inform you of the letters and numbers that the episode was brought to you by.)

I had this neat Sesame Street toy. It was like a doll house, kind of, but it folded up and had a handle, so you could carry it around. It also came with little plastic Sesame Street action figures.

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01:40 pm - A Few Notes on Bob and Dean. I mean Dean and Bob.
This is a continuation of something that came out of the comments section of yesterday's post about IKEA.

I brought it up at work today. Here are some interesting points:

1. One of my coworkers swears that there's been a Bob's Discount Furniture in Stoughton (future home of IKEA) for years. And years.

2. Another coworker told me that Bob and his trophy wife own an entire compound, you know, like Kennedy-size, in Connecticut.

3. We all agree that Bernie and Phyls is the absolute worst. Feel free to share your most hated B & P commercial. I would love to hear about it.



So, there are still a lot of mysteries swirling around Bob and Dean. The more we think we know, the more we realize that there is so very much to learn. I take back my earlier description of Bob. I said, in the comments section of the IKEA post, that Bob looked like one of the Jordan's Furniture guys. Upon further contemplation, I think he's more like the actor who played the dad in Family Ties. An older version of him. Which, come to think of it, could be like him now. So, not older. Ah, you know what I mean.

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June 29th, 2005


01:14 pm - I'm About to Pull an MCA
I always complain about musicians and what have you for using their podium and celebrity status to preach about whatever. I do want Tibet to be free. I swear. But I don't want Adam Yauch yippin and yappin about it when I'm sitting in crappy seats at his concert. Rap, damn you! That's why I'm here!

Anyway, I am going against my own rules here to bring a great organization to your attention. I've been on their mailing list and I do attend their events when time allows (a lot of them take place during the week). Oh, and if you don't live in the Greater Boston area, this won't really be appropriate.

Community Change is an organization working hard to fight against racism (particulary institutional or systematic racism) in the city of Boston. I'm not going to drone on and on since I'm anti-preachy, but I would have liked to have found out about this organization long before I did, so in case you are interested, here is their website.

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09:52 am - IKEA(r)
It's coming. Really. This time they mean it.

It's going to be situated right off 24 in Stoughton (near the Jordon's Furniture in Avon - the one with the Motion Odyssey Movie ride, or MOM, as they call it). This is about 20 minutes from my mother's house. I am still pinching myself. No longer do I have to drive all the way to New Haven (and when they erected that one last year, I said "Woo hoo! This one's so much closer than Elizabeth, NJ!"). It's going to be a mob scene for the first, oh, six months or so. We've all been hungry for the IKEA for such a long time, people will be lined up like mad dogs waiting to pounce on a carriage or the infamous yellow plastic shopping bag. I mean, where else can you get a 12-piece set of silverware for 5 bucks? Or a sofa for under $200? We still use ours, which was purchased in 2001, and thanks to the snazzy magenta slipcover, it looks like new (they introduce new slip cover colors every season or so). I can't wait to saunter in and take in the smell of hot dogs and cinnamon rolls. Those unmistakable and irresistible aromas (just because I no longer eat mammals, it's hard to deny the power of this smell. That and BBQs. Actually, they make great turkey dogs these days. I can hardly tell the difference, as we threw a few on the grill during Sunday's game.)

I am not sure how up-to-speed you are on the controversy surrounding IKEA and Massachusetts. The original plan was to build it in Somerville, in the now defunct Assembly Square area. Once upon a time, when K-Mart was an anchor store worthy of the label, the Assembly Square Mall was a happenin' place. Now, it's about as rundown and sparse as a washed up mall could be. IKEA offered to save the day by planting the first New England store in this very place (before New Haven, just to give you an idea of the history here). Soon after the plans were announced, a special interest group, The Mystic River Ass-Clowns, argued that the potential IKEA traffic would be more than the area could tolerate, as would the pollution. They appeared at city hall meetings with their ridiculous rhetoric and petitions and pie charts. Naturally, this pissed me off more than you can imagine. I wrote several letters to then mayor, Dorothy Gay, who supported the IKEA. It would supply the community with a lot of jobs and it would help a seriously depressed area of the city get back on its feet. Not to mention the fact that it would provide affordable home decor to the masses. People not fortunate enough to drop a thousand bucks on a living room set at Crate and Barrel or any one of those fancy pants stores between Harvard and Central squares.

Let me say that my husband and I are staunch environmentalists. We recycle everything under the sun, We avoid pesticides. We don't buy any cleaning product that isn't biodegradable. So, I did the research on IKEA, just to make sure I wasn't swishing my pom-poms around for a company whose views contradicted mine. Well, wouldn't you know that IKEA is an environmentally responsible company (internationally speaking) and does extensive work to the land before they build for this very reason. So that just leaves the poo-poo-ers with the excessive traffic issue and let me tell you, traffic sucks on the lower deck, storrow drive and the pike. Always has. Can one specific thing be sited for gridlock? As Dean, from Dean's Home Furniture says, "I doubt it!"

So, in lieu of all the hoopla and parade peeing, IKEA didn't give up on us. Thank goodness. We're getting our store in the fall.

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June 28th, 2005


10:54 pm - Game Results

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08:02 pm - Tuesday Night Baseball
Tonight's ump, Larry Young, looks like the gimp in Pulp Fiction with his mask on. Payton got the start, as did the man Paul DePodesta coined The Greek God of Walks, Kevin Youkils.

Another reason to find the Foxwoods commericals objectionable: John Pizzarelli, the infamous snappy fingered singer, is a life long Yankee fan. Here he is, all decked out in J-Crew:


You love me. Just admit it. I mean, look at me. Personally, I think he's a less scary version of Lyle Lovett. Unlike Lovett, though, I couldn't imagine hanging out with this guy. As much as I like Bossonova.

These new Bank of America commercials, with all the plugging of great new services, remind me of the old SNL faux-merical for The First Citiwide Change Bank.


If you come to us with a hundred-dollar bill, we're not going to give you two-thousand nickels...unless that meets your particular change needs. We will give you...the change...equal to...the amount of money...that you want change for!

Aaron Boone just makes me sick. Still. And the homer in tonight's game made my already weak tummy flip-flop a few times. He's still wearing pinstripes in my mind and I bet, like Tino Martinez, he is destined to make his way back to New York at some later point in his career. He's biding his time. You can just tell.

The wives are in the booth talking about a their upcoming Greater Boston Food Bank Drive. I've always wanted to get involved in a revamping of the Red Sox Cookbook. Have you seen this thing? Right now, it's slapped together with the bare minimum in terms of content, and the graphics look like they were done by a 12 year old. I don't think they realize the potential of this book. It could be a real door to the great women behind baseball, like Janet Marie Smith. On the surface, it's a recipe book, but imagine all the facts and figures that could be dropped in to remind us all about the great female contributors to the organization. Also, I think the wives should do something for Rosie's Place. When will they realize that they need me over there on Yawkey Way?

I am finally treating Mom to her Mother's Day game on Sunday. The Blue Jays would not have been my first choice, but it was her call. Husband is getting out of dodge in favor Toronto AKA Andrew Land to visit a college friend. She's a cool lady, but on 4th of July weekend? How unpatriotic. He claims that it's his way of protesting the Bush administration. Put in these terms, I approve. (I just realized the irony here - he's going to Toronto, and the Jays are coming here.)

Reader, I have a bad feeling about tonight. It's going to be one of those 2 runners on base, no outs, but watch us pop up 3 times to retire the inning type games. I hope I am wrong. It's still a close game, so anything is possible. Especially with no Vazquez.

I am summoning my faith. (And with that, Bellhorn gets a double with no outs ... )

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June 27th, 2005


10:29 pm - Crayons, For Sure
I'm sorry. I never get tired of hearing Jerry and Don say: Coco Crisp. It's like this giggle reflex I have when the name gets announced. Same thing happens with Matt Stairs and Ben Sheets.

Damn, I hope this isn't a shut out. I don't want crayons. At least not at home.

I love how Rem just lets the Boston accent rip. Halamar. No shame. Another reason to admire the guy.

I missed the majority of the game playing softball. We won again, but I'm pretty sure you are tired of hearing about it, reader. Actually, this game was a super snore. We played the maroon shirts, who managed to keep us at 6. It was the fastest game I think we've played all season (1 hour). We broke out in the 2nd to score all 6 runs. The maroons squeezed 2 runs out of us, but most innings were 1-2-3 on both sides. 8-1 is the record. I popped out twice. I actually hit much better during our BP (the first BP we've actually had). I played 2nd pretty effectively, though. I had a good "flipping" rhythm going with the SS.

Alright, Vazquez simple stinks. He's playing defense as poorly as Bellhorn has tonight. And his offense is equally as flat (.200, no HR, and a mere 4 RBIs). I give him props for looking like Sugar Ray, but that's the only compliment I'm going to grace him with. Just an off night for greasy hair. Everyone is entitled to one, I guess. What is the dealio with back up short stops? Enlighten me, people. This is an area that Theo really needs to address. What's the word on the street? If we do make a trade with Payton (sad as this makes me), I hope we get a utility dude who can play SS better than Vazquez. Something tells me, though, that Jay is stuck with us, whether he likes it or not.

Sourballs just came out of the Cleveland bullpen to close. And Papi got out at 1st. Come on Manny, dignity run, dignity run. Nope. Trot struck out. EOG (end of game).

I drove in today, and I was tempted to listen to EEI over NPR. Big mistake. Who the heck are these callers and where do they come from? My favorite today was a dude from Forestdale or Mashpee (somewhere over the Bourne Bridge) who thought that Wake should be sent to the bullpen when Schilling comes back. Cool idea, huh? I can picture it now. Tie game, bases loaded, 7th inning and in walks Wake. Are these people out of their damn minds? He couldn't make a convincing case for his idea other than "the knuckleball is unpredictable." Which is precisely why you don't put him in relief! Did this guy watch Game 7 in '03? I get pretty embarrassed for some of these people. Also, D & C are the biggest homophobic right-winged jackasses around so it's really hard to dignify their show with my time.

So Florida tomorrow - the shit's gonna hit the fan in Yankee town. I would love to be a fly on the wall. Bitch slaps all around. Good, good times.

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