Witch City Sox Girl

I've Moved

2005-07-02T00:40:51Z

I couldn't wait. I've just had enough of LiveJournal. I've made the leap to blogger. So, please, boys and girls, come visit me in my new pad.

Witch City Sox Girl has left the building.

An Aged Lita Ford at the Game?

2005-07-02T00:12:00Z

Not to be mean, but who the hell is that weird looking woman behind home plate with the black sequins tank top? She keeps standing up and screaming. Terrible 80's bleached hair, too much eye make-up. She's right off to the left of the plate and very, very expressive. The guy behind her just gave her the business by shaking his head and motioning "up, down, up, down," with his hand. She looks like she's going to belt him good.

From the Sensational New York Post ...

2005-07-01T18:11:41Z

An error, then some hits?

Did Yankee teammates Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez have a locker-room brawl last week?

The two sluggers mixed it up on June 20, after an errant throw from shortstop Jeter to third baseman A-Rod handed the Yankees a 5-4 loss to the last-place Tampa Bay Devil Rays, according to a TV producer loitering in the clubhouse.

"[I] saw them go at it," the source tells Radaronline.com. "A-Rod walked past Jeter's locker and mumbled something about his throw, then Jeter told him to go [bleep] himself and all hell broke lose. Their teammates were pulling them away from each other.

Says a ball club insider, "Now you have guys like Bernie Williams, who remember winning the World Series, taking Jeter's side, and then you have the [recent] trades, like Tony Womack, taking A-Rod's side."

Two Yankee players told The News they had no knowledge of a fight. And team spokesman Rick Cerone labeled the report an "absolute fantasy," and denied any quarreling among the players.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Could just be a rumor, but in my mind, I am turning it into fact.

Baseball Reprieve Continued

2005-06-30T20:53:12Z

What? Finish my work tasks for the day? Okay, but first ...

Here were my top 5 favorite things about the show "Sesame Street":

1. Grover as the Waiter. I loved every single skit involving the blue face muppet with the mustache and the huffing, puffing Grover who always screwed up the order:

2. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-122222222222: It was a pinball machine cartoon that helped us learn to count. Very psychedelic. (I am now thinking that this could have been a feature on The Electric Company, another great show.)

3. The man who fell down the stairs carrying all the pies. I don't think he enjoyed it as much as me.

4. The man who had numbers painted on the top of his bald head. In mustard or ketchup or poster paint.

5. The theme song. Oh, how I loved to sing along to that. Hearing it meant there was a whole new episode in front of you. (The saddest part of the show was when Kermit or Oscar or Snuffy would inform you of the letters and numbers that the episode was brought to you by.)

I had this neat Sesame Street toy. It was like a doll house, kind of, but it folded up and had a handle, so you could carry it around. It also came with little plastic Sesame Street action figures.

A Few Notes on Bob and Dean. I mean Dean and Bob.

2005-06-30T17:43:41Z

This is a continuation of something that came out of the comments section of yesterday's post about IKEA.

I brought it up at work today. Here are some interesting points:

1. One of my coworkers swears that there's been a Bob's Discount Furniture in Stoughton (future home of IKEA) for years. And years.

2. Another coworker told me that Bob and his trophy wife own an entire compound, you know, like Kennedy-size, in Connecticut.

3. We all agree that Bernie and Phyls is the absolute worst. Feel free to share your most hated B & P commercial. I would love to hear about it.

So, there are still a lot of mysteries swirling around Bob and Dean. The more we think we know, the more we realize that there is so very much to learn. I take back my earlier description of Bob. I said, in the comments section of the IKEA post, that Bob looked like one of the Jordan's Furniture guys. Upon further contemplation, I think he's more like the actor who played the dad in Family Ties. An older version of him. Which, come to think of it, could be like him now. So, not older. Ah, you know what I mean.

I'm About to Pull an MCA

2005-06-29T17:26:55Z

I always complain about musicians and what have you for using their podium and celebrity status to preach about whatever. I do want Tibet to be free. I swear. But I don't want Adam Yauch yippin and yappin about it when I'm sitting in crappy seats at his concert. Rap, damn you! That's why I'm here!

Anyway, I am going against my own rules here to bring a great organization to your attention. I've been on their mailing list and I do attend their events when time allows (a lot of them take place during the week). Oh, and if you don't live in the Greater Boston area, this won't really be appropriate.

Community Change is an organization working hard to fight against racism (particulary institutional or systematic racism) in the city of Boston. I'm not going to drone on and on since I'm anti-preachy, but I would have liked to have found out about this organization long before I did, so in case you are interested, here is their website.

IKEA(r)

2005-06-29T13:58:22Z

It's coming. Really. This time they mean it.

It's going to be situated right off 24 in Stoughton (near the Jordon's Furniture in Avon - the one with the Motion Odyssey Movie ride, or MOM, as they call it). This is about 20 minutes from my mother's house. I am still pinching myself. No longer do I have to drive all the way to New Haven (and when they erected that one last year, I said "Woo hoo! This one's so much closer than Elizabeth, NJ!"). It's going to be a mob scene for the first, oh, six months or so. We've all been hungry for the IKEA for such a long time, people will be lined up like mad dogs waiting to pounce on a carriage or the infamous yellow plastic shopping bag. I mean, where else can you get a 12-piece set of silverware for 5 bucks? Or a sofa for under $200? We still use ours, which was purchased in 2001, and thanks to the snazzy magenta slipcover, it looks like new (they introduce new slip cover colors every season or so). I can't wait to saunter in and take in the smell of hot dogs and cinnamon rolls. Those unmistakable and irresistible aromas (just because I no longer eat mammals, it's hard to deny the power of this smell. That and BBQs. Actually, they make great turkey dogs these days. I can hardly tell the difference, as we threw a few on the grill during Sunday's game.)

I am not sure how up-to-speed you are on the controversy surrounding IKEA and Massachusetts. The original plan was to build it in Somerville, in the now defunct Assembly Square area. Once upon a time, when K-Mart was an anchor store worthy of the label, the Assembly Square Mall was a happenin' place. Now, it's about as rundown and sparse as a washed up mall could be. IKEA offered to save the day by planting the first New England store in this very place (before New Haven, just to give you an idea of the history here). Soon after the plans were announced, a special interest group, The Mystic River Ass-Clowns, argued that the potential IKEA traffic would be more than the area could tolerate, as would the pollution. They appeared at city hall meetings with their ridiculous rhetoric and petitions and pie charts. Naturally, this pissed me off more than you can imagine. I wrote several letters to then mayor, Dorothy Gay, who supported the IKEA. It would supply the community with a lot of jobs and it would help a seriously depressed area of the city get back on its feet. Not to mention the fact that it would provide affordable home decor to the masses. People not fortunate enough to drop a thousand bucks on a living room set at Crate and Barrel or any one of those fancy pants stores between Harvard and Central squares.

Let me say that my husband and I are staunch environmentalists. We recycle everything under the sun, We avoid pesticides. We don't buy any cleaning product that isn't biodegradable. So, I did the research on IKEA, just to make sure I wasn't swishing my pom-poms around for a company whose views contradicted mine. Well, wouldn't you know that IKEA is an environmentally responsible company (internationally speaking) and does extensive work to the land before they build for this very reason. So that just leaves the poo-poo-ers with the excessive traffic issue and let me tell you, traffic sucks on the lower deck, storrow drive and the pike. Always has. Can one specific thing be sited for gridlock? As Dean, from Dean's Home Furniture says, "I doubt it!"

So, in lieu of all the hoopla and parade peeing, IKEA didn't give up on us. Thank goodness. We're getting our store in the fall.

Game Results

2005-06-29T02:55:02Z

Tuesday Night Baseball

2005-06-29T00:41:50Z

Tonight's ump, Larry Young, looks like the gimp in Pulp Fiction with his mask on. Payton got the start, as did the man Paul DePodesta coined The Greek God of Walks, Kevin Youkils.

Another reason to find the Foxwoods commericals objectionable: John Pizzarelli, the infamous snappy fingered singer, is a life long Yankee fan. Here he is, all decked out in J-Crew:

You love me. Just admit it. I mean, look at me. Personally, I think he's a less scary version of Lyle Lovett. Unlike Lovett, though, I couldn't imagine hanging out with this guy. As much as I like Bossonova.

These new Bank of America commercials, with all the plugging of great new services, remind me of the old SNL faux-merical for The First Citiwide Change Bank.

If you come to us with a hundred-dollar bill, we're not going to give you two-thousand nickels...unless that meets your particular change needs. We will give you...the change...equal to...the amount of money...that you want change for!

Aaron Boone just makes me sick. Still. And the homer in tonight's game made my already weak tummy flip-flop a few times. He's still wearing pinstripes in my mind and I bet, like Tino Martinez, he is destined to make his way back to New York at some later point in his career. He's biding his time. You can just tell.

The wives are in the booth talking about a their upcoming Greater Boston Food Bank Drive. I've always wanted to get involved in a revamping of the Red Sox Cookbook. Have you seen this thing? Right now, it's slapped together with the bare minimum in terms of content, and the graphics look like they were done by a 12 year old. I don't think they realize the potential of this book. It could be a real door to the great women behind baseball, like Janet Marie Smith. On the surface, it's a recipe book, but imagine all the facts and figures that could be dropped in to remind us all about the great female contributors to the organization. Also, I think the wives should do something for Rosie's Place. When will they realize that they need me over there on Yawkey Way?

I am finally treating Mom to her Mother's Day game on Sunday. The Blue Jays would not have been my first choice, but it was her call. Husband is getting out of dodge in favor Toronto AKA Andrew Land to visit a college friend. She's a cool lady, but on 4th of July weekend? How unpatriotic. He claims that it's his way of protesting the Bush administration. Put in these terms, I approve. (I just realized the irony here - he's going to Toronto, and the Jays are coming here.)

Reader, I have a bad feeling about tonight. It's going to be one of those 2 runners on base, no outs, but watch us pop up 3 times to retire the inning type games. I hope I am wrong. It's still a close game, so anything is possible. Especially with no Vazquez.

I am summoning my faith. (And with that, Bellhorn gets a double with no outs ... )

Crayons, For Sure

2005-06-28T02:34:36Z

I'm sorry. I never get tired of hearing Jerry and Don say: Coco Crisp. It's like this giggle reflex I have when the name gets announced. Same thing happens with Matt Stairs and Ben Sheets.

Damn, I hope this isn't a shut out. I don't want crayons. At least not at home.

I love how Rem just lets the Boston accent rip. Halamar. No shame. Another reason to admire the guy.

I missed the majority of the game playing softball. We won again, but I'm pretty sure you are tired of hearing about it, reader. Actually, this game was a super snore. We played the maroon shirts, who managed to keep us at 6. It was the fastest game I think we've played all season (1 hour). We broke out in the 2nd to score all 6 runs. The maroons squeezed 2 runs out of us, but most innings were 1-2-3 on both sides. 8-1 is the record. I popped out twice. I actually hit much better during our BP (the first BP we've actually had). I played 2nd pretty effectively, though. I had a good "flipping" rhythm going with the SS.

Alright, Vazquez simple stinks. He's playing defense as poorly as Bellhorn has tonight. And his offense is equally as flat (.200, no HR, and a mere 4 RBIs). I give him props for looking like Sugar Ray, but that's the only compliment I'm going to grace him with. Just an off night for greasy hair. Everyone is entitled to one, I guess. What is the dealio with back up short stops? Enlighten me, people. This is an area that Theo really needs to address. What's the word on the street? If we do make a trade with Payton (sad as this makes me), I hope we get a utility dude who can play SS better than Vazquez. Something tells me, though, that Jay is stuck with us, whether he likes it or not.

Sourballs just came out of the Cleveland bullpen to close. And Papi got out at 1st. Come on Manny, dignity run, dignity run. Nope. Trot struck out. EOG (end of game).

I drove in today, and I was tempted to listen to EEI over NPR. Big mistake. Who the heck are these callers and where do they come from? My favorite today was a dude from Forestdale or Mashpee (somewhere over the Bourne Bridge) who thought that Wake should be sent to the bullpen when Schilling comes back. Cool idea, huh? I can picture it now. Tie game, bases loaded, 7th inning and in walks Wake. Are these people out of their damn minds? He couldn't make a convincing case for his idea other than "the knuckleball is unpredictable." Which is precisely why you don't put him in relief! Did this guy watch Game 7 in '03? I get pretty embarrassed for some of these people. Also, D & C are the biggest homophobic right-winged jackasses around so it's really hard to dignify their show with my time.

So Florida tomorrow - the shit's gonna hit the fan in Yankee town. I would love to be a fly on the wall. Bitch slaps all around. Good, good times.

Consecutive Sweeps

2005-06-27T03:52:54Z

And just 3 games later, she makes another appearance ...

I've never seen Wells work so hard. And the Manny grand slam was delicious. Not to mention Bellhorn and Tek!

Holy cow, are you people watching game 3 of the subway series? This is some exciting stuff. Cano just f'd up a routine grounder on 2 outs with runners at the corners. giving the Mets the lead (2-1). Randy, after 112 pitches, was pulled and Gordon (Flash Gordon, according to Morgan. Is that Gordon's nickname or is this guy a Yankee fan?) is now coming in. Randy's been locating pretty well and kept the Mets at 1 for 6 innings, but the Yankees defense hasn't been so hot. Womack screwed up a running catch (while Cliffloyd made a very lovely one a couple of innings back). And this new guy, Kevin Reese is making his major league debut. He bobbled a ball off the wall in left, resulting in a single for the Mets.

Wow! Giambi just completely messed up a play at first by overthrowing to Gordon. 2 more unearned runs. Unreal. 4-1, Mets.

My friend Dan came over to watch the game with us today. We go way back, starting with our college part time employer, Bruegger's in Kenmore. We both moved to Nashville right after graduation (Dan stayed there a lot longer than me - I tolerated a year, maybe less), and we both lived in Somerville for quite a while several years later. Many a night we sat out on my rickety back porch, sipping beers, staring down at the foreign auto mechanic parking lot located directly below, complaining about the state of our lives. Like me, Dan is a die hard Sox fan. And also like me, he can't say no to the Red Sox.

Yanks just put a run on the board. It's 4-2, no outs. Heilman is throwing a bunch of change ups and I love watching these power hitters take huge swings for strikes. Beautiful. Oh man, Sheffy just went after the ump for a questionable call. No class. At least he got ejected. 4-3, Mets.

The Yankees just spoiled my fun again by squeezing 2 runs out in the 9th. Damn. I was going for symmetry in my mind (our sweep vs yanks getting swept), but it wasn't meant to be. Oh, well.

A Decade of Dan

1995 (aged effect unintentional, but, oddly, it works)

2005

I've Got Crayons

2005-06-26T11:33:47Z

My mom and I have a saying. Mo and I say it, too. And now Kerry has been brought into the circle. When things are going wrong - I mean really wrong - we say, "I've got crayons."

The phrase originated as an inside family joke in the '60s. My mom comes from a large French-Canadian family (she was the 2nd born of 6). My grandmother wore the pants. To this day, although she has mellowed some, no one messes with my grandma. Every morning, she made lunches for the crew. All sorts of delights hid in the infamous brown bags: egg salad, peanut butter and jelly, baloney on white with the crusts all sliced off. And since my grandmother (who also kept a full time job) baked constantly, the kids were likely to get a fresh piece of carrot cake or a brownie. The brown paper bags aligned the dining room table in the morning and the kids grabbed their lunches as they scurried out the door and off to school. One of the clan, let's call him my uncle Joe, was the sort of outcast of the group. He allowed himself to be picked on and taken advantage of by the other kids (jokingly, not violently or hurtful, I am told) and was a constant source of embarrassment to my mom and her older sister. He was the family McFly.

One day during lunch, the kids reached into their bags, pulled out the yummy contents and announced what they received. "I've got ham and cheese!" "I've got turkey!" Then, poor uncle Joe, with head cast down said, "I've got crayons." Evidently, the crayons were kept in a brown paper bag, too, and in the general chaos that ensued pretty much every morning, he picked up the wrong bag.

So, following this logic:

Red Sox - Peanut Butter and Jelly on Wheat, Chocolate Pudding
Orioles - Tuna on Rye, Mini bag of Pringles
Yankees - Sea Green, Burnt Sienna, Violent Red, Turquoise Blue

5th Inning Report: Phillies are Melting Like a Cheese Steak

2005-06-25T19:16:38Z

I've always sort of had a soft spot for the Phillies. Particularly Pat Burrell and J-Roll. When I was living in Philadelphia, my friend Sue and I used to take in games at the late Veterans Stadium. Cheap seats, easy to get to on the subway, and creative uses of the word "fuck" offered by most of the Phillies fans. Oh, the fury! Sometimes, we would take the ferry from Penn's Landing to Camden, NJ, to see the Triple-A Riversharks (right next to the infamous Campbell Soup Factory). Those were good times.

If I were my friend Sue, I would be irate. The Phillies are playing defense like a field full of Jose Offermans. This was an ugly top of the 3rd for Philadelphia. After he walked Clement, Padilla was pulled. The Red Sox are like a machine today, despite the weather conditions. And I can only imagine what it's like there, since my flesh is dripping off my legs, forming a sticky puddle at my feet. Looking out into the stands, I am seeing a lot of long sleeved shirts. WTF?

Do these Gillette commercials honestly appeal those of the male persuasion? They remind me of the music video-like segments in John Hughes movies. They're horrible.

A rather large man wearing a tie-dyed YES concert tee lost his drawers leaning over into the field to scoop up a foul. I can't believe how long they left the camera on this guy's pasty butt.

Speaking of embarrassing moments and the greater Philadelphia region, I will reveal a doozy to you. I lived in this area at 2 different points in my life. Once at 23, and a second time at 29. This happened during the former period, when I was a much younger lass. I was employed by a printing company in south Jersey. One morning, a very attractive young man who drove packages to and from our NYC client offices for us, approached me. I had a crush on this guy, and everyone knew it. He looked at me in an adoring way and asked, “Do you want to see me?”

Let me first say that I had been flirting with this particular guy for a few weeks and it was obvious (at least to me - perhaps it was my imagination) that he had been flirting back. Do you want to see me? This meant only one thing to me in that moment: He was asking me out. I was at a loss for words. Technically, I was dating someone else at the time, although it was far from serious. I took a deep breath, looked him straight in the eye and said, “Well, I’m sorting of seeing someone else, but I find you very attractive.” As I went on, I noted the confusion on the poor guy’s face.

“Tony said that you needed to see me about a package.”

I raced out of the room we were standing in and straight into the cafeteria closet. I stayed in the closet for thirty minutes or so, until I was certain that the coast was clear.

Going into the bottom of the 5th: Boston 5, Phila 0.

Liebin' 2nd Place Behind

2005-06-25T12:50:01Z

Another shut out. That makes 4 this month. Wakefield was classic knuckleball gold, giving up 2 hits over 8 innings. That's it. 2.

1. Lieber lasted 5 innings. And he was rocked, at least in the 1st and 5th. Two 3-run homers (Doug E. Fresh never fails me. Ever.). His record is now (holding nose) 8-7. How does that feel, Jonny Boy? Not so good, huh?

2. Manny is back. And he made a pertay good defensive play last night.

3. Terry needed this victory. In this park. Against this team. (I hope his wife and kids are in a secure, witness protection-like location for the rest of the series.)

4. Did I mention that the Red Sox are now in their rightful first place position? As in, top o' the division? They are. Indeed.

I would like to extend a great big thank you to the New York Mets. Petey, you still da man. Cliff Floyd, like, you are, like, so, like, tubular. Totally. Our time with him was brief, but treasured. Another cool detail: The Yankees lost with their only starter whose ERA is under 4. They go into this afternoon's game with Eddie Munster Eyebrows Henn, who is 0-2 and 10.29. Good luck. (I like Henny Penny, also, as a possible nickname.)

[Wow, I didn't realize this, but his teeth are a little fangy. I'm definitely going with Eddie Munster.]

I guess it's pretty nice, too, that the O's have been on a bit of a losing streak. It's helpful. (And though I haven't been following their games in detail, I am told, by a die-hard O's fan, that the losses have been due to utter carelessness, thus frustrating to watch. We've all been there, PD.)

One more exciting bit: It is highly possible that Curt Schilling will be making his first start on JULY 9TH against the O's in Baltimore. I will be in attendance, reader. And I can't wait. Maybe we will see John Waters this time and he can introduce us to the great underground Baltimore scene. Or maybe not.

How about keeping it to yourself?

2005-06-24T19:55:50Z

This quote appeared in the Herald today (and was lifted and pasted on the dreaded dirtdog site):

"I'm going to take my time, call guys like Kevin Millar, Billy Mueller, see where they end up, guys I've enjoyed playing with here. Put a package together, that's how much I care for these guys and how much they care for me. When I'm a free agent, I'll call Kevin and say, `Hey, who wants you?' I'll tell him who wants me and we'll turn another clubhouse inside out.'' - Johnny Damon

Johnny, the correct statement would have been: "I'm going to do everything in my human power to remain with the Red Sox organization." I mean it's nice to hear about the loyalty they have for each other, everyone loves a close-knit clubhouse, filled with laughter and hugs. But I don't want to hear any of my stars talking about a future that doesn't include the Red Sox! Got that, Johnny? That would be like me calling my cell phone provider and letting them know how, when my contract expires, my friends and I are all going to switch to a different service. But hey, Cingular, thanks for the good times. Ok, maybe that isn't a fair comparison, but this stuff irks me, as was the intent of Michael Silverman, the writer who published it, I am sure. Yes, I get that baseball is a business. But I don't need it rubbed in my face.

Here's the rest of the article.

SLAUGHTER

2005-06-24T02:39:24Z

When I first got to the park, I was immediately intimidated. We were playing the red shirts. And they looked really sharp warming up in the field. My fellow green shirts had congregated on our side of the field. They were seed spitting and wise-cracking, but not catching or throwing. I immediately recognized the ump - he was the guy from our first game: Puck from The Real World, without all the insults and scabs. I've got to admit, I didn't have a very good feeling going into this one.

We had "first licks" and the inning was alright, but no great shakes. I think we scored 3, maybe 4 runs. The red shirts countered with 2 or 3 at the bottom of the 1st. I played 2nd base all through the game except one inning when I was catching. My fielding started off pretty slowly, too. I fumbled a very routine ground ball and forgot to flip it to the SS. I ran it over myself and not in time.

It was a sort of tit-for-tat type of game until the 5th, when the mighty green opened it wide open, and on 2 outs. I think we brought in a total of 10 runs in that inning. We went through our entire batting order. We just kept finding the holes. After that, the red shirts were doomed.

The only disappointing part: Hits that went over the fence weren't considered to be runs. The first 5 were doubles, and after that, only singles. The power hitters on the team were trying to hit softer (if you can imagine that) to go for the "inside the park homer" and reader, we actually got one. Han, our amazing pitcher, also has a pretty decent bat. Our girls, even the smallest of them, all got really good hits tonight.

At one at-bat, I managed 2 RBIs. At another at-bat, I got a single, but my hit was all the way into the outfield. I went deep, reader. Can you believe it? I can't. Too bad it was to center and I couldn't get to 2nd on it. After that, a hit went right to 2nd base and I was out. Also, I had a ground out, which was not very good. After the first couple of innings, my defense improved.

Final Score: 21-10, Green. Current Record: 7-1. The most runs we've put on the board to date. Right on!

Where's the Dust Pan?

2005-06-23T03:53:40Z

KC and I watched most of the game from O'Neil's, an Irish Pub here in Shalom. Since sweeping starts with a broom and brooms are big here, I'm thinking of using Samantha as the official symbol of Red Sox sweeps:

Clutch hitting was in effect. (I'm 33 years old and I still get confused between effect and affect.) And our pitching (and managing, thanks, Terry) was really great this evening. I loved the ole "one batter and you're beat" ballsy move executed by our skipper tonight. I'm speaking of Myers, who was less than pleased to leave the mound. Stolen bases. Good base running. Everything just sort of came together. I think the biggest thanks of all ought to be extended to fatty Wickman who helped us come out on top. Sweaty. Nervous. Off his game. It's fun to watch those kind late innings, even when you are chewing on bloody stumps.

1 game from 1st place. Striking distance, to be sure. We face Lieber in Philly next. It's all about revenge this year. I hope we smoke him.

Have vs. Have-not

2005-06-23T00:01:29Z

At 5:00 today, I started gushing with pride over our current league standing in softball. The green shirts are tied for 1st place with 2 other teams. 1st place! We received an email from one of the BSSC (Boston Ski and Sports Club, for those not in the know) coordinators with this information today. As I've said before, I can't take a lot of credit for this, as I tend to pop-up a lot and my chin gets more action than my glove. But I feel lucky, reader. I walked over to Kerry's cube to share the good news. She countered with more good news: The Yankees lost today with Pavano dealing (3-5). This, of course, led to a discussion about the respective disappointments of Carl and Randy. I explained that B.S. Memorial compares Carl and Matt occasionally. Reading it puts a little spring in your step, especially if you're having a bad day. Kerry then told me that she thought it might be equally as interesting to compare our our replacements of 2005 with the replaced of 2004. I thought this would make for a pretty cool exercise, so I offered to work it out. I will be passing the baton to Reb of course, to use her brilliant new statistical method so that we can compare results for the pitchers (Bases Per Batter). If you haven't seen this, reader, please visit her site. She's really going gangbusters with this and it's awesome.

STARTING PITCHING

Have
Clement (8W - 1L)
ERA: 3.48
Strike Outs: 78

Wells (6W - 4L)
ERA: 4.73
Strike Outs: 39

Lost
Martinez (7W - 2L)
ERA: 2.76
Strike Outs: 114

Lowe (5W - 8L)
ERA: 3.65
Strike Outs: 70

What we got:
W/L: 7-3
ERA: 4.11
SO: 59

What we gave up:
W/L: 6-5 (el stink-o bullpens are to blame here)
ERA: 3.21
SO: 92

OFFENSE

Have:
Renteria
Average: .266
HR: 5
RBI: 26
SB: 4

Millar
Average: .269
HR: 4
RBI: 29
SB: 0

Payton (Important to note: AB=115)
Average: .270
HR: 5
RBI: 20
SB: 0

Lost:
Cabrera
Average: .249
HR: 4
RBI: 20
SB: 5

Mientkiewicz
Average: .217
HR: 8
RBI: 22
SB: 0

Roberts (Important to note: AB=191)
Average: .288
HR: 4
RBI: 24
SB: 13 (WOW!)

What we got:
Average: .268
HR: 5
RBI: 25
SB: 1.3

What we gave up:
Average: .251
HR: 5.3
RBI: 22
SB: 9.6

Interesting results. I'll compare defense tomorrow.

And on a light note, Mo just emailed me the following (as reported in Newsweek):

"We've got a war going on - I have family in that war - yet we're talking about steroids...If everybody in the world got on steroids, we'll still lose more kids to a war than we will from steroids." Chicago White Sox outfielder Carl Everett, on congressional steroid hearings. He also disputed the existence of dinosaurs and said that "if a fan comes onto the field, we're gonna beat him down."

driv·el (drĭv'əl): idiotic utterance; silly nonsense

2005-06-22T01:21:03Z

Lady Sizemore has selected Back Door Man by the Doors for his at-bat music. Fantastic selection. In fact, it's the best selection I've heard in a while. I heard Brass in Pocket earlier, but I don't think anyone claimed this as a personal theme song. They get the Pretenders and we get Def Leppard. Hardly fair.

Going into the bottom of the 4th, it's currently at 3-0, Sox. Bronson is doing a-ok. Those daddy long legs are winding up pretty confidently this evening. His breaking ball is so good tonight, if it could sprout hands, it would point to the man upstairs, Papi-style, on its way into Tek's glove.

Did you know that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is in Cleveland? I'm sure that is a treat, reader.

Papi just solo homered. 4-0.

So, what the hell is going on with our Manny? Am I worried? No. He'll heat up eventually, but I'm wondering if a line up shift (nothing crazy) might help. Thoughts?

Aflac trivia question tonight: Who was the losing pitcher for the Indians in Game 5 of the 1999 ALDS? Answer: Paul Shuey. Charleston Chewy.

10-2, Tampa Bay (5th inning). Itchy, owie!

Bellhorn hit a long sac fly to score Kevin. 5-0. Tek just scored on a Damon double. 6-0.

How I keep batter counts:
0 - 1 = Nothin, Ace
0 - 2 = Nothin, Deuce or "Wait for it to go on sale!"
1 - 0 = Ace, Love
2 - 0 = Deuce, Squat
3 - 0 = Work a Walk
1 - 1 = Snake Eyes
2 - 1 = Deucy Acey
2 - 2 = Double Deuce
3 - 1 = Tracy* Acey
Full Count = Tracy Deucy
*Kerry added "tracy." It's complete now.

Going into the 7th and we are in good shape. Sauerbeck is coming in for Cleveland. Mo calls him sour balls.

Totally unrelated: I can't wait to see The Fantastic Four!

[It just occured to me that I forgot "1-2" on the count list, which was really the whole point. From the context of the list, it's not too hard to figure out my secret code for this ...]

Johnny V. and Utter Stuff

2005-06-21T14:05:29Z

Forgot to mention something very key. From Sully's, I saw that John Valentin was a guest on SportsDesk (his once in a blue moon appearance). I was so thrilled. It was fun to hang out with a bunch of townies for a while. It's great when you can talk about how shitty racism is with dudes from Southie. We're getting there, Boston. Dem are good peoples down dere at Sully's Tap. And they know their baseball.

Also, I would like to formally direct you to a couple of other Sox blogs. They've been bloggin' a lot longer than me and their content is, inarguably, far more rich and thoughtful. And darn funny.

Empyreal Environs. Her blog is so tight, I rarely have a comment. Because she frames things so eloquently, I can't add much except: Yeah! What you said!

Blue Cats and Red Sox. Like Empy, very well written. Trust me when I tell you that Sam is light years ahead of her time.

And while I'm plugging away, Reb is turning into Bill James. Someone call front office and get her a desk! Seriously, you have to tip your Red Sox cap to her for the work she's put into this.

Please give 'em a visit.

I got a chill this morning after learning that Curt is ready. I tried hard not too expect too much from him this season. I swear, if he's back, and he's 100%, I am going to lose my mind.

Incidentally, my target time for a blog host switcheroo is right after the all star break. I'm not committing to an exact date because (a) you aren't going to remember anyway and (b) I tend to get sidetracked easily. Just a little heads up, there, partners.

Jumping the Shark

2005-06-21T05:17:15Z

I missed the game, but I was in great company with a bunch of old friends, so the sacrifice was well worth it. As I waited for my train at Sully's, I was brought up to speed. Wells pitched okay, but Captain Cheese and Foulke gave us a bit of a scare. Still, we put an end to their wins. Thank you, Red Sox.

I recognize that the Yanks are on a winning streak (broken tonight by the crappy Evil Rays), so bringing this up now is a little off, timing-wise. But it's a fun subject, so here goes. Wouldn't it be nice if this were the year that the Yankees jumped the shark? Like Scrappy to Scooby Doo, Oliver to the Brady Bunch and Ralph Macchio to Eight is Enough, Randy Johnson could be to the Yankees. I even see their new digs as having the potential to be like Laverne and Shirley moving from Wisconsin to California. Could this new stadium be an attempt to improve ratings and kindle new interest? Maybe they'll change their uniforms, reader. I am sensing a whole new corporate identity in their future. The Statue of Liberty will appear on their caps. Or perhaps they'll go the bird route like Baltimore and St. Louis. Oh, how I wish the New York state bird was the swallow. They could adopt a fish, like Florida. Minnows or Pollywogs or something. Actually, a pollywog is an amphibian. What's the difference between a pollywog and a tadpole? Are they not the same thing? What I would give to see Derek sporting a cap with a giant sperm on it. Also, they should dump Billy Crystal. His first pitch was pathetic. I'm thinking Michael Rappaport would make a good replacement. [Actually, the NY state bird is the eastern bluebird and the fish is the brook trout. There is no fun in this, reader. It is as boring as Steinbrenner himself.]

Speaking of clubs and their logos, is there something that can be done about the Indians' obnoxious depiction of a Native American? Sorry to be a poor sport, but I think we can make a departure from this Warner Bros. looking thing. And while we are at it, let's do away with the Braves' tomahawk. I mean, really.

Lastly, I've got to give a shout out to my friend Andrea. She had a baby on Thursday. Good job with that! And she did it without drugs, God love her.

Quick Queer Eye Review

2005-06-20T16:16:54Z

I finally got around to watching the Red Sox Queer Eye. It was pretty funny - especially Mirabelli's jabs at Kevin (Hey, Kevin, you have glue on your face!). The only thing I was a little disappointed by, though, was Millar's homophobic display toward the end of the episode. He started off fine, seemingly comfortable and secure with it all. But when he was announced on the field in his new clothing, well, let's just say he acted a little immature. Thom had a great comeback, though. He said: Kevin's walking a little funny. Something must have happened to him in the locker room! Wake was really great, taking the whole paraffin thing so seriously. Because of this, I dreamt about paraffin last night. I was walking along the beach, looking for my laptop. It was supposedly hidden under mounds of seaweed. As I lifted fistfuls of the slimy stuff, I noticed that my hands were covered with wax. A quasi-Red Sox related dream. This is number 3, in case you are keeping track.

1. Ninth Inning Opposition Rally (followed by a naked encounter with Matt Dillon)
2. Randy Johnson "Sitting Down"
3. Wax Hands on the Beach

Mama Says Shut You Out, I'm Gonna Shut You Out

2005-06-20T14:19:09Z

The Pirates played the field yesterday like my softball team. Worse, actually. The "no one covering second base" play was embarrassing for them. Edgar stole on it, as well he should have. Clement was money. Mueller was very strong, all game long. And, of course, Payton was his consistent good self. One of the high points of the game for me was watching Papi's foul off to right skip up rows and rows of people, ricocheting like a scorching sphere of fire. I thought that yesterday's ump had a generous strike zone. One of Bellhorn's last pitches during one of his at-bats was not only upstairs, but it was totally off the corner. You saw it in the replay. It cost Marky Marklar a walk. Looks like Johnny is still having some problems with the shoulder. I hope that gets resolved soon.

Got the Run D.M.C. cranked up today. When I was a kid, I had one of those panasonic cassette recorders:

I used to record stuff off the radio using this gadget. The technique was a little sloppy, though. I basically placed the radio and the cassette player as close together as possible and hoped that my parents didn't bust in my room and start talking, which would, of course, spoil the recording. I was so obsessed with The King of Rock, I played it over and over until I had every last lyric scribed in my notebook. I felt like the world's biggest bad ass once I had it memorized. (I thought I was) a big hit at Hot Wheels (local skating rink) as I whooshed around in my bright orange skates, pink feathers roach clipped to my levi cords, mouthing every word of the rap. Troy What's-His-Name, the guy I was trying to impress, was likely (a) frightened by me and my weirdo get-up or (b) oblivious (he was the master of Centipede and spent most Saturdays in the arcade part of the rink). What I'm saying is: As a person, my volume is pretty high. Be not afraid, it's just the way I am. I received poor grades in conduct in elementary school. The "cannot refrain from unnecessary talk" box was always checked. It was the only complaint my teachers had about me during open houses. I was the one whose desk was constantly getting separated from everyone else. Reading paragraphs aloud was difficult because I had a horrible nervous laugh and would break down in fits of giggles when I was called upon. On the positive side, this quality makes for a pretty energetic and vocal Red Sox fan.

[Great news: The wallet has been recovered. I won't have a new bank card until the end of the week, but hey - at least the 30 bucks was still there. And I don't need to get a new license. Yippee! I'm putting the MBTA folks up there with the firemen who saved my house in March.]

Game 2

2005-06-19T15:27:58Z

Well, yesterday started off with a jolt. I'll give you a hint: My wallet's gone! My wallet's gone! Ok, that was more of a dead giveaway. I was supposed to meet Kerry at noon so we could attend the Gee's Bend exhibit. Sadly, I spent the morning in panic-mode, retracing my steps, trying to figure out how my little 2.5" X 3" wallet separated itself from me. Long story short: Au Revoir. Huge, mad props to Kerry for basically floating my sorry ass all day long.

Before I jumped on the train, I snapped this one of our new neighbor. Turns out she's a big Sox fan. Who knew?

I got to the MFA too late, so we decided to grab a bite instead. At about 2:45 we headed for the player entrance.

Here's the Captain sporting a yellow shirt

Papi, of course (the front of the car has a plate that says: BIG PAPI). What a ride.

Ok, this one really killed us. Trot Nixon drives a Mini Cooper. Too funny. We expected him to show up in a heavy duty monster machine, covered in pine tar. Nope.

Here's the back of Larry Lucchino's car. If you look closely, you can see the word "pollen" scrawled on his back window.

Keith. Pretending to talk on the cell phone, as to avoid waving to fans. Kerry picked up on this - she swears he put the phone down on the passenger's seat, then picked it up and pretended to talk some more.

This one is my favorite. We were heading in the direction of the Fens, when we heard someone yell: Hey, Ted! You guessed it - Ted Kennedy. Apparently, he drives himself to the park. We were half expecting him to be standing in the never ending line with us at Gate C.

After catching and throwing in the park (which was so much fun - we've decided to make it a ritual during lunch breaks at work), we jumped in the line for tickets. Dear Jesus. That was painful. Literally and figuratively. We stood for 2 hours and got pretty close to the ticket window when they made "the announcement." No more standing room, and we were just before the cut off for the ultra expensive tickets. We were so invested in going at this point, we actually got 2 singles off a scalper (ever since that Seinfeld episode, I wonder about the PC-ness of this word). 65 bucks each, BUT, the seats were pretty good. They were in a field box, right next to the Pesky Pole. We were hoping to catch some fouls, but no. We were also hoping that the Sox would win, but no. I walked into the game with a sort of chip on my shoulder, since we won the last 3 I had attended. I didn't worry when the Pirates took the lead. I figured: Walk off 3 run homer, no problem. I am sorry to report that there was a lack of clutch hitting last night. Wake was great. But the offense was, well, offensive. Kerry and I discussed how quickly everything happens when you are actually there. You turn your head for a second and suddenly, there are 2 guys in scoring position and another out on the board. Does this happen to any of you?

Jere was at the game. I gave him a couple of things (somethin' for him, somethin' for Reb). It was cool to chitty chat with him for a bit. I am jealous of his Cleveland excursion. There had better be pictures.

Oh - and check out my new Chucks! The Army Navy store in Salem sells them with the witch silk screened on them. Kick ass, plain and simple.

Father's Day

2005-06-19T05:06:01Z

Unlike me, my dad was a jaded Red Sox fan. I think he officially distanced himself from the organization in 1986. He was teaching high school at the time and spent his post-work days in a pub up the street with a colleague (sort of a Moe's Tavern type joint). Anyway, his recount of the BB story is, well, about as dreary as yours, reader. The bar went from eruptions to silence and I think this is what drove him over the edge. He got caught up in the 1999 post season action, but never fully admitted the extent of his hopefulness.

My dad was the coolest guy I knew. He owned a 1935 Chevy Sudan that he took from a shell of a vehicle to something more than suitable for a ZZ Top video over the course of 3 years. It rocked.

He loved Seinfeld. Especially Kramer (who he resembled when he was younger).

He also loved Jeopardy and cursed anyone who phoned between 7:30 and 8:00 PM.

I learned a lot about music through my dad. His album collection when from Morrison Hotel to The B52's self titled debut. He also loved David Burn, The Squirrel Nut Zippers, and Elvis Costello. He owned the White Album, Sticky Fingers, and a rare J. Geils "Ladies Invited" LP. He had KISS Alive and Kiss Alive II on 8 track (he gave me double platinum on wax). The man had great taste. He took me to see Physical Graffiti (a local Led Zepplin tribute band) the night before one of my history finals, claiming that this was far more important. I don't remember the exam, but I do remember rocking out with my dad.

He built me a go cart when I was 11. It was a sort of Smurf blue color. He was so damn excited about that.

He was a Republican, We fought about politics constantly, as he was a talk radio addict. He would call me when he heard about random crooked democratic councilors-at-large in mid-western states, just to tell me what "my buddy was up to." It annoyed the hell out of me then.

The last time I saw him was at Fenway (2000). It was a Father's Day gift, but the tickets I purchased weren't until a game in late August. We spent the entire day together. I took him to the Museum of Transportation in Brookline (city of his birth), a fabulous greasy brunch at a diner in Somerville, and then to Fenway - where we watched the Sox fall to the Texas Rangers. We had a wonderful time that day. The weather was perfect, we never discussed politics - we just enjoyed each other. A cool daughter-father day. And even though he had grown skittish of the Red Sox, he purchased a Sox cap after the game. He called me a few days later to tell me that he hadn't taken it off. And in less than a week, at 49 years young, he left us.

Happy Father's Day - to a guy who lived life in accordance with his own rules. Love you, dad. Miss you every single day.